Bizarro Video: Total Eclipse of the...huh?

Dedicated Readers, you're in luck. I decided to post 2 in a row today! But only because I found this little ditty. I'm sure you've seen the "Literal Videos" that are floating around this wondrous interweb of ours, in which the lyrics are re-recorded so they're singing about what's happening on the screen, and I may have found the funniest one yet. This is the Literal Video of Bonnie Tyler's "Total Eclipse of the Heart," and...well, just watch.

Bizarro Video: The Touch? Not so much.

Hey, speaking of 80's cheese rock, (What? I was! Not here, but I promise you I was!) did you guys see how badly Stan Bush butchered his own song, The Touch, for the new Transformers movie? Or rather, how the production company offered him a ton of money and convinced him it was OK to butcher his own song for the new Transformers movie? If you don't know it, it's the main song they played in the original, animated Transformers movie, and it also made a cameo as the song Dirk Diggler sang (very badly) in Boogie Nights while John C. Reilly danced along. Great song if you like that sort of thing, which I do. Well, now that Michael Bay has taken over the Transformers, he's not satisfied with just ruining a classic children's franchise. He obviously wants to ruin Stan Bush's only legacy. And I think he's done it.
Just so this post doesn't completely suck, I've included the original, fist pumping version above the new, Linkin-Parked-out version. I warn you, It's terrible. Cringe in pity at...The Touch (Sam's Theme).

Bizarro Video: Ahnuld Abroad

Wow, it's easy to lose track of time. Sorry about that, Dedicated Readers.
Today, I've got a good one for you. Don't you love it when American TV and film stars are tapped for selling inane products in foreign markets? I sure do, because they end up doing things like today's video. Witness Arnold Schwarzenegger, star of action films galore and (sic) current governor of California, hawk some cheap "pui pui" drink! Marvel as he skillfully mispronounces words in yet another language! Thrill as he rides some superhero hang glider thing with a small Asian woman on his back! Scream right back at Ahnuld in...Ahnuld Abroad.