Bizarro Video: Heaven and Hell

Dedicated Readers, I have a truly, TRULY special double feature for you today. I was made aware of it thanks to Coheed and Cambria via Facebook, and man. I just don't know how these old codgers can still rock so damn hard. I've always been a huge Black Sabbath fan, but never much of a Dio guy. I always thought they were best in the Ozzy days.

But this is 2009, and Ozzy's a doddering old burnout now, who can apparently be talked into anything.

This is amazing, frankly. Geezer butler still rips it up on the bass, Vinny Appice is still as good, if not better, than Bill Ward in his prime, and Tony Iommi is better than ever, fake fingertips and all. Dio is still, well, Dio. Still doing the devil horns the wrong way. I don't give a damn that he invented that. You show the BACK of the hand. He's looking a bit like Richard Simmons these days, don't you think? I kid, Dio is a metal god. Or devil. I'm confused now. Anyway, his voice is still mostly intact, which is more than I can say for most singers from that era.

Anyway, this video is of a song from the Black Sabbath album of the same name. It was very well loved in its day, as is evidenced by all the bald male heads that can be seen as the camera pans the crowd from behind. I implore you, stay for the whole 15 or so minutes. You'll be glad you did. Iommi's solo itself is UNBELIEVABLE. The song recalls the days of IROC Camaros and corresponding hair. If you're old enough, you'll be transported back to a simpler time. If you're too young, you can appreciate just what the hell those old bastards are talking about.

So without any more fussin' and fightin', I give to you...Heaven and Hell.

Bizarro Video: Go G.I. Joe!

Being a huge G.I. Joe fan, Dedicated Readers, I have no idea how I didn't know this existed until a few moments ago: The Japanese voice dub for the 80's G.I. Joe cartoon! It's brilliant!

...ly terrible, which is why it's today's Bizarro Video.

I'll set it up for you: Cobra is trying to do some crazy thing to take over the world and it's up to G.I. Joe to stop them. You know, the same as pretty much every 80's GI Joe cartoon episode.

Cobra Commander is truly an assault on the ears in this iteration, with the terrible "Plate Reverb" effect on his voice, and in this classic episode, as usual, he does plenty of screaming. Zartan sounds about 80 years old, and is missing his really cool voice effect. If you listen closely, they even had a guy voice Snake Eyes' pet wolf, Timber. I'm just glad they kept Snake Eyes himself silent. Watch for Destro in the train near the end, he sounds truly nightmarish.

Of special note is the use of Star Wars sound effects: A Lightsaber for the elevator door, the Blaster "firing" sound for the garbage pod launching from the space station, and the TIE Fighter "Whoosh" sound for the Skystrikers, all of which are so out of place it's unnerving.

I love goofy stuff like this. In case you hadn't noticed.

Without any further preamble...Go G.I. Joe!